“After I left the last treatment center, I realized what made me happy,” explains Selena, “and there was a connection.”
But at the direction of a doctor, Selena’s planned charity visit to Kenya to see the schools she helped raise money for was put on hold for several years due to her kidney transplant in 2017. Once she’s finally ready to make the trip in 2019, he promised to visit the quarterly.
“The truth is, I never felt good enough,” admitted Selena. “Even when I’m on stage in front of a crowd, I always find a person who doesn’t like me and I believe him, I want to believe in myself. The people I met here in Kenya are so generous, I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them.”
During her time in the Masai Mara, Selena joins the students in discussing love, ambition and, in a particularly emotional conversation with a woman, suicidal thoughts.
After a stint in Kenya, Selena travels straight to London and Paris to promote her music, but finds it hard to adjust to celebrity life. “It looks like a waste of time,” he said. “What am I doing right now?”
After admitting that “a part of my heart is still in Kenya,” admitted Selena, “sometimes I felt guilty about being there. I hate it, I feel like I went and filmed and experimented, but it’s so hard because I feel so selfish. Do I feel great? Yes, and do I feel like I’ve had an impact? Yes, but do I feel like I’ve done enough? No”.
“Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya is wonderful,” she continued. “I don’t know if I felt, ‘Oh, I did it and I’m a great person.’ No, this is just the beginning for me.