“Since then I had to lie every day”

Lucy Spraggan she was a 20-year-old musician when she was chosen to be on the show. X – Factor in its British version. spraggan she was not an ordinary member, she became the first member to sing her own songs and play an instrument. Her audition where she performed the song Last night– “Last night I told you that I love you / I woke up, I blamed the vodka”– was the fourth most viewed YouTube video in the world that year and she became the most searched artist on Google in the UK. A star was about to be born, he had everything to succeed, but everything changed overnight.

spectators X – Factor voted for her in the top three shows live before the show announced that Lucy he had to give up his musical talent due to illness. Only she wasn’t sick.

eleven years later spraggannow 31, is finally ready to talk about why she disappeared. Lucy Spraggan waited 11 years to write a memoir and talk about what happened in 2012. A few flashbacks in which she reveals she was raped during filming X – Factor and what a devastating effect it had on his life. “My working title for the book was Are you that girl?“, he says in an interview with the newspaper Guardian. “Because for years I was afraid of being known as the girl that it happened to. I was deeply and chronically ashamed. Now I understand that what happened was not my decision, it was not in my hands. keep going, I needed to tell the truth,” he says.

In the book, the artist says that the attack happened one night when she was celebrating her partner’s birthday. Rylan Clark at a club in London’s Mayfair, which was attended by crew members X – Factor.

According to the singer, she was disappointed with the way ITV, the UK’s biggest television producer, handled the incident: “No one, including the contestants, was allowed to be under the influence of alcohol. How can (ITV) fulfill its duty of care when it comes to alcohol?”

An artist who details an event in a book Process: find your wayrecalls that she passed out and a crew member escorted her back to the hotel, and that one day at the hotel the receptionist offered to help her get back to her room.

spraggan She reveals that this doorman later used an “electronic key” to enter her room and attack her. “I woke up the next day with this feeling of panic. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that level of confusion since then,” he said.

“I knew that I was raped, but I could not understand it. So I got dressed and continued on autopilot,” she added. Although the film crew called the police and an arrest was made, spraggan He believes that ITV was not “prepared” to deal with what happened.

“Since then, I have had to lie almost every day. When people talk about me on a podcast or in a newspaper, it’s always “Lucy Spragganwho gave up X – Factor because of illness’. People still ask me why I left the show. And with every lie comes a flood of extremely painful memories. It is not good to lie, hide, conceal. But that’s why we’re here“, he writes in his book.

Spraggan was born in Canterbury, Kent and lived with her mother Anstey, then a teacher, and three siblings after her parents divorced when she was very young. She grew up in a party house, “our neighbors hated us,” she writes in her memoir, surrounded by her mother’s creative friends. Her first memories in music were at school plays, where she sang funny songs she wrote about her teachers, until one got offended and stopped Lucy’s performances. He did his first show at the age of 13 and by the time he X – Factor he asked her to audition, he performed in the same circle as Ed Sheeran, and their names changed regularly on notice boards in pubs across the country.

In 2012, X – Factor it was one of the most popular TV shows in the UK and Spraggan became an overnight sensation with millions of viewers watching its audition. “From that moment my life changed forever”assures the BBC.

“From the very beginning, they make you a kind of caricature of themselves. It’s almost like a story written for you,” he adds. Spraggan claims that the contestants were immediately put under a lot of pressure.. “Starting from the first stage, this message was repeated over and over until the moment when you only believed in this: “this was the greatest opportunity in my life.”

Now 31, she says she has never been in a situation where “someone has completely taken over my life.” “If I were to experience it again as a normal person, I would state that I am in an abusive relationship.”.

In his book, Spraggan reveals that while the other contestants were housed in a private apartment with 24-hour security provided by the show, Spraggan and his good friend Rylan Clark, also a contestant, were exiled to a hotel on Edgware Road.

Shortly thereafter, Clarke celebrated his 25th birthday at Mayfair’s Mahiki nightclub. Drinks were free and unlimited and the team at X – Factorjournalists and paparazzi were there to capture the ensuing chaos, the role she thought Lucy was meant to play.

“At this stage I knew my role: get drunk, do something fun, make headlines the next day.“- writes Spraggan. Footage appeared in which she takes a bottle of beer with her teeth and drinks it, freeing her hands. Some of the crew also drank.

Spraggan lost consciousness. A crew member escorted her back to the hotel, where a bellboy offered to help Spraggan get back to his suite. As they were leaving, the porter unlocked the door so that it wouldn’t close behind them. Some time later, Clark went to Lucy’s room and made sure her door was locked when she left. His decision meant that when the bouncer later returned to Spraggan’s room to attack her, he had to use a tracked card. “The next day I woke up with a feeling of pure fear,” she says. “I don’t think I’ve felt that level of confusion since then. I knew that I had been raped, but I could not understand it.. So I got dressed and went on autopilot.”

Although she was subsequently provided with financial and medical assistance, the singer regrets, however, that no further assistance was provided after the prosecution of her attacker.

“No one else contacted me to ask if I was okay. No one called or emailed me when the trial ended and it was processed. (to the rapist). No one offered me rehab or treatment for mental illness. I was left alone“, Mint.

Initially, Spraggan wanted to make public the reason for his retirement from the competition. “At first I said, ‘Just tell them what happened. But I quickly realized that it would not be so easy. I remember several people saying, “You’ve got your whole career ahead of you, and you don’t have to take it back.”

spraggan She left the contest that James Arthur won that year during live performances, citing illness, although she now admits that a side effect of the drug she was given to prevent AIDS made her feel too bad in the days following the rape.